A Fine Line Between
by obstinateRixatrix
Summary: Kyousuke never really intended to avoid Sayaka.


(_it was adjusting, not abandoning_)

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><p>Kyousuke never really intended to avoid Sayaka.<p>

The thing is, when he was (finally) released from the hospital, he was just swept up by it all. Suddenly there was a life beyond hospital rooms and endless despair, people other than doctors and parents and childhood friends. Although before he was somewhat known for his skill as a violinist, now he was actually popular - classmates he barely knew flocked to him, acted like his recovery was what they had been waiting for their whole lives. He was treated like an old friend by people he knew in only a vague sense, yet at the same time like some new and exciting transfer student to be gawked at. Getting used to social interaction took a bit of effort after his period of isolation. But, more important than the new freedom and the crowds of people was the fact that _he could play again_. Sometimes he would spend countless hours reacquainting himself with his violin, greeting an old friend he had thought he'd never meet again. So, when he wasn't throwing himself into the glorious feeling of being able to make music again, he was dealing with hordes of well-wishers, and when he wasn't surrounded by his peers he was practicing as much as he could. There was just too much to do, he was too busy getting back into the rhythm of life to spend time with her.

But he knew that was just an excuse.

Seeing her reminded him of being helpless, of the forlorn existence spent stuck in his padded prison. He just… needed time to recover. Time to forget. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful – he knew how much she gave him. She visited him almost every day, she tried her best to keep his spirits up, and did all she could to make him happy. He might've taken her for granted on occasion, but that didn't mean he was completely unaware of what she's done – however, he had grown to associate her with the hospital. Facing her so soon after he left the accursed place was a bit too much for him to bear.

But now it seems like the worst is over. He can finally move on with his life, move forward and leave the onerous memories behind.

He figures tomorrow he'll apologize and they can go back to the way before the accident. He can tell her about the confession he received (wasn't it from one of her friends?), she can tease him about feelings and he can tease her about guys. He'll make up for the week he spent without her (the week he spent being a jerk), and everything will be all right. It really is thanks to her he didn't give up – now, with this miraculous recovery, he's no longer confined to clinical rooms and gloomy thoughts. Now, for the first time in what feels like ages, he feels hope for the future, like everything's going to be okay.

The next day Miki Sayaka is found dead in a hotel room and, for a moment, he doesn't know how to breathe.

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><p>(<em>for every miracle, there is a price to pay<em>)

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><p>Out of all the characters in this series, Sayaka is hands down my favorite, and I <em>really<em> want to know how people reacted to her death. I wanted to do that with Kyousuke, but it didn't really turn out like that. Whoops!

I don't particularly like Hitomi, but it's more because she only popped by to say 'oh by the way I like the guy you like' and didn't really show up anywhere else. She did have the decency to give Sayaka a chance to confess, and that was pretty nice of her. I do have issues about how Kyousuke ignores Sayaka after he recovers. He doesn't do it on purpose, but that just makes it worse! Yes, he doesn't know that she pretty much traded her _soul_ for his happiness, but almost every day she visits him, tries to cheer him, and tries to make him happy, and once he's out of the hospital it's like he doesn't even know she exists! He is a pretty shitty childhood friend! I also wished he knew how much she actually gave up for him, but he never will. His ignorance just really irritates me. So in response I guess I wanted to justify it and make him more likable, at least to me. I really wish it flowed a bit better, and that my style wasn't so _bland_ (it must be because of all the stupid Hemmingway we're reading in English - I have issues with his style). If I find someone who can actually help me edit this, I'll be a very happy clam indeed.

As a matter of fact, if you have any suggestions, any at all (put a comma here! Change that dash to a period!) please tell me. It'd be much appreciated, especially since I don't have much of a grasp on how to write this kind of stuff. I hope you enjoyed reading it!  
>(I hope someone actually reads it. :'D)<p> 


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